


Don't Hide

by kafrickinboom



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Be gentle, Begging, Enthusiastic Consent, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Katsuki Yuuri-typical Anxiety, Language Kink, M/M, My First Fanfic, Oral Sex, POV Katsuki Yuuri, Panic Attacks, Porn with Feelings, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:03:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9306497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kafrickinboom/pseuds/kafrickinboom
Summary: Yuuri threw his hand out, slapping the emergency stop. Yurio looked up sharply, pink tinging his cheeks.“What the hell are you doing?” he asked angrily.Yuuri had no idea what the hell he was doing. He ignored the ring of the elevator’s emergency phone and he ignored Yurio’s voice speaking to the operator, too focused on his internal struggle. The only thing running through his mind was I don't want to let him go, which made absolutely no sense. It's not as if this was the last time he'd see his Yurio. He'd see him the next day to compete.Wait, myYurio?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic ever. I wrote this in one fell swoop, and I have to say I'm pretty proud of my little fic. I hope you guys like it too hah! 
> 
> Mind the tags if you can't get into underage (Yuri is his canonical 15-year-old self)!

Yuuri threw his hand out, slapping the emergency stop. Yurio looked up sharply, pink tinging his cheeks.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked angrily. 

Yuuri had no idea what the hell he was doing. He ignored the ring of the elevator’s emergency phone and he ignored Yurio’s voice speaking to the operator, too focused on his internal struggle. The only thing running through his mind was  _ I don't want to let him go, _ which made absolutely no sense. It's not as if this was the last time he'd see his Yurio. He'd see him the next day to compete.

_ Wait,  _ my _ Yurio?  _ If only the Russian tiger could hear his thoughts right then. He could only imagine the wrath aimed at him. Yuuri had always liked it though. He liked when Yurio’s eyes filled with fire and his voice sounded rough. He liked the unchecked fury. He liked the dichotomy of someone so beautiful and fair being so intense and aggressive. It never failed to send a bolt through him seeing those green eyes flash up at him.

The only real problem Yuuri had was Yurio’s age. Yuuri may have arguably been the world's biggest virgin, but he wasn't inept at recognizing his own signs of attraction. No, the issues lied in the fact that Yurio was eight years younger than himself and the disconcerting rush that came every time a flush hit those youthful cheeks. 

Yuuri looked back into Yurio’s eyes, absently licking his lips. He didn't fail to notice those eyes darting to his mouth though. With a small, nervous smile, Yuuri leaned into Yurio’s space. 

“I-I've been thinking a lot about you, Yurio. It's been a while since I saw you last and...” He trailed off, biting his lip. Why was he telling Yurio this? Did he really think his words would be well received? Shaking his head and sighing at himself, he decided to drop it. “Forget it, Yurio.” He reached up to push just about any button to release the elevator from emergency mode when his hand was caught in a tight grip. Startled, he looked up to see Yurio’s eyes averted, expression unreadable.

“Finish your sentence, Katsudon.”

“I… I just...missed you, Yurio.” Fair eyebrows raised in response, and Yuuri could practically feel his skin burning from the flush on his own face. 

“You missed me? Why? It's not as if we're friends.” Yurio looked away quickly with what seemed to be a faint grimace. Had Yuuri just seen...regret coloring that expression? Emboldened, he inched closer.

“I actually, uhm… I'd really like to change that. A lot, in fact. Uhm...” Another unreadable face snapped to his, and Yuuri panicked. Maybe he was reading things wrong. As much as he enjoyed seeing Yurio’s anger, he didn't feel like getting kicked in the face again, especially the night before he could show Yurio his evolved Eros. “O-or not! I'm just tired from traveling! Ha ha! Don't-don't listen to me. Let me just… I shouldn't have stopped us. I'm sorry.”

Again his hand was stopped, but when he looked up, he was met with a familiar frustrated glare. 

“What the hell is up with you, Katsudon? I haven't seen you act this weird since watching you fawn over Viktor before the Onsen.” Yuuri veritably gaped at Yurio’s red face. 

“Fawn over Viktor?” 

Yurio looked as if he'd eaten something particularly bitter. “You know...the red face and the stuttering and the disgusting heart eyes whenever he was around.” He rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. “It was gross and I don't get why you're being weird now. Are you going up to see him now?” he said a little meanly. “Where even is Viktor?”

“I don't know. Probably out with Chris or something,” he said dismissively. He honestly couldn’t understand how blind this gorgeous young man in front of him could be. Yurio’s face melted into something that could only be described as ‘baffled.’ 

“Then what…?”

Shaking his head, Yuuri laughed nervously. “Yurio...have you ever noticed that all of those things you said - the heart eyes, th-the stuttering, whatever - all of that happened when you were around? That maybe you were the reason for...for all of that?” 

Watching Yurio’s face slacken in realization had to be one of the most beautiful things Yuuri had ever seen. Jerking his head up so quickly knocked that flaxen hair he hid behind almost completely out of the way. Those usually angry eyes rounded and so,  _ so  _ green that you could get lost in them. The pink raising on those high cheekbones. That mouth that was usually tense or pursed softened so that he could see a bit of those perfect teeth behind them. Yuuri’s breath left him all at once as he realized how badly he wanted to bite that plush bottom lip.

Licking his lips, he watched as Yurio’s eyes fell to watching his tongue yet again. Emboldened, Yuuri eased into Yurio’s space, backing him up against the wall of the elevator, reveling in the gasp escaping the younger man's mouth. Slowly raising a shaky hand, Yuuri stroked Yurio’s cheeks, brushing the hair further back to get a better look at the proclaimed ‘Russian Fairy.’ 

“Beautiful,” he breathed out, watching Yurio’s eyes for any sign that he was overstepping any boundaries. Trailing his thumb over that biteable mouth, he softly asked, “Is this okay, Yuri?”

Hearing his given name must have tripped some sort of switch because suddenly he was being shoved back out of Yuri’s face. He watched, a bit stung, as Yurio, scowling, practically crushed the button to his floor, releasing the elevator from its emergency stop. Yurio’s shoulders were hunched up around his ears and he stood close to the doors, keeping his back to Yuuri who felt a lump rising to his throat, choking him.

_ I'm so fucking stupid. What is wrong with me? Why am I even surprised? I have absolutely no  _ right _ to be surprised. Yurio never gave any indication that he might feel the same way as I do. Why would he? He's beautiful and passionate and fierce and talent incarnate and I'm...I'm…  _ Yuuri could feel his breathing become heavier as he tried to crush down the rising tightness in his chest. He fought with everything he had to keep the tears at bay though a couple slipped past despite his best efforts. Looking at Yurio’s back, he slowly retreated to the back of the elevator so he wouldn't come off as a burden.  _ I've already made him uncomfortable. I don't need to make it any worse by trying to remain close to him. _

Slipping his eyes closed, Yuuri focused on redoubling his efforts to keep from crying. He wrapped his arms around himself to hold himself together. Once he was back at his own room, all bets were off, but he refused to possibly put any guilt on Yurio’s shoulders. It wasn't the blonde’s fault that Yuuri clearly wasn’t what he wanted. 

After what felt like an eternity, he heard the ding and the opening of doors, indicating they had reached Yurio’s floor. Thank heavens he only had to ride the elevator up one floor to get to his room. He waited for the telltale swish of Yurio’s coat, but didn't hear anything else but the closing of the doors again. 

Looking up, confused, he saw Yurio still standing at the doors, back tense. 

“Yurio-” Yuuri frowned at the cracking of his own voice and cleared his throat gently, intending to try again. “Yur-”

“Shut up. Just. Shut. Up.” Yurio sounded angry as per usual, but it wasn't the irate tone Yuuri was used to. The Russian sounded almost...vexed? Silently, Yurio reached up and calmly pushed the button to the next floor. 

Yuuri’s eyes widened as he tried to shove any budding hope out of his mind. In no time at all, they reached his floor. Again the elevator chimed and as the doors opened, Yuuri’s wrist was held fast for a third time in a crushing grip, and suddenly he was being forcefully tugged out of the lift. 

“Which room is yours?” The question was thrown back at Yuuri, who dazedly stumbled over the number in response. 

Once at the door, Yuuri paused. Apparently, taking a breath of consideration was a breath too long because he was swiftly shoved to the side, the card removed from his hand, door swinging open. Again he was being pulled in -  _ my wrist is going to bruise - _ and shoved against the back of the door, a hand gripped tight into his shirt. Yuuri had to cross his eyes to see Yurio’s face so close to his own.

“Did you mean it?” Yurio was scanning his face, and Yuuri was honestly taken aback by how intense the gaze was. He'd seen the young man’s face fitted to a scowl, to deep concentration, to smug victory, to rage, to indignation but he'd never been the focus of such scrutiny.

“Yurio, I…”

“Answer the question, Katsudon. Did you mean it?” This time, it sounded as if the question was laced with desperation. 

Understanding slapped Yuuri in the face as he looked into those wide, viridescent eyes, causing his own to soften in fondness. Yurio had to be feeling at least a bit of what Yuuri was. Tilting his forehead against the blonde’s, he felt a grin tugging on the corners of his lips. “I meant it. Viktor wasn't even in my line of sight with you around.”

A soft noise escaped Yurio’s lips a moment before Yuuri tilted further, meeting them with his own. It felt as if the air was sucked from his lungs. The culmination of his dreams and imagination couldn't have prepared him for the softness of Yurio’s lips dragging against his own, the sweetest gasps being pulled to the surface and whimpers between swipes of tongue and teeth.

Yuuri allowed himself to be swept into the feeling, reaching up to sink his fingers into the soft locks of Yurio’s hair. A slight snag was enough for the younger man’s hips to jerk into his own. Yuuri tore back from the kiss, moan ripped from him at the feeling of a hard cock rubbing against his own through multiple layers of clothing, bringing it from interested to needy in the span of a single filthy grind. 

Setting his teeth against a pale earlobe, he collected himself enough to ask, “what do you want, Yuri?” 

A broken ‘ _ everything’  _ was all it took for Yuuri’s verbal floodgates to open. “I want whatever you're willing to give me. I want to feel your perfect skin against mine. I want to dig my fingers into you, leaving marks for you to feel for days. I want your teeth to mark me up in return.” Yuuri looked up to see the blonde looking fucking  _ wrecked _ and they hadn't even done more than some grinding. It felt as though something primal clawed its way to the forefront. Pulling back on that pale hair, he met Yurio’s eyes, growling, “I want to taste you.” 

Fuck, Yurio  _ keened.  _ Eyes fluttered for a moment before hardening, lax mouth tugged into a smirk. He removed Yuuri’s hands from that blonde hair and turned to move further into the room. He backed up, kicking his shoes off.  Eyes tinged with nerves, he dragged the zipper down his jacket, and biting his lip, pulled it off and threw it to the side. He backed up closer to the bed, beckoning. “Well, Katsudon? What are you waiting for? Come  _ t-taste  _ me.” 

The older man honed in on that little stutter. Hearing that nervous, little trip on his words did nothing but make Yuuri want him more. He kicked his shoes off and set aside his glasses before prowling after Yurio and watched as those young eyes flashed with heat. God, he loved how much he could affect the younger man. Those eyes were almost completely swallowed by black, nothing but a ring of vibrant green. The sweetest of gasps pulled from the teen as Yuuri pushed Yurio onto the bed, straddling thinner hips and digging his fingers back into that magnificent hair.

Yurio groaned, gripping the older man's hips, chuckling like the little shit that he is. “You really seem to like my hair, Katsudon.”

Yuuri laughed breathlessly. “You  _ have  _ seen yourself, haven't you, Yurio?” 

The younger man gave an uncharacteristically shy smile, before looking off into the middle distance. Yuuri could tell he was trying to close off the softer side of himself, to hide behind his walls again.  _ Well, that certainly won't do.  _ With both hands, Yuuri gently tilted the younger man's head up to meet his eyes. He leaned down and tried to pour all of his feelings through the softest, most intense kiss Yuuri had ever experienced. Pulling back, he buried his face in the teen’s neck. “Please don't hide from me, Yuri.” 

He felt the blonde tense beneath him for a moment and a harsh swallow before slowly going lax under Yuuri. He couldn't quite hold back the rush of relieved breath he'd been holding. Sitting back up, he smiled at the wide, apprehensive,  _ vulnerable _ eyes peering at him. 

_ God, I could do this forever. _ He thought, finally skimming his hands up Yurio’s chest and pushing the shirt up along with it. Yuuri marvelled at the muscle definition under the thin layer of baby fat. He watched the smaller boy's ribs contract as he dragged the back of his nails over nipples, drawing a shudder and tightened fingers at his hips. He made Yurio release him to pull the shirt off, licking his lips at the expanse of pale, perfect skin before him.

“Y-you too. Yours too.” Yurio demanded with a faint shake. Yuuri smothered a smirk, recognizing the depth of how nervous Yurio was. Still, he made a show of sliding his own jacket off him shoulders in short order, drawing the shirt off while rocking his hips down onto the ever-present hardness beneath him. He felt soft hands on his stomach and he couldn’t control the odd mix of moaning and laughter, gripping Yurio’s wrists and pressing his hands in harder. 

“I'm far too ticklish for such soft touches,” he said. His smile slipped to something akin to horror as he watched Yurio’s eyes light up in mischief. “Oh no. Noooo, no, no!” He felt those gentle fingers dig into his sides and shouted in surprise, trying to pull away to no avail. The teen below him was much stronger than he looked, wrapping an arm around him and flipping them until he was between Yuuri’s legs, pinning him, fingers honing in on all of his most ticklish places. Yuuri  _ shrieked, _ squirming and thrashing, begging for reprieve. After what felt like far too long, Yurio sat back on his haunches beaming down at him. Yuuri was struck by the sight of the open smile.  _ If a little tickle-torture is all it takes to see this, it's already more than worth it.  _

Overwhelmed, Yuuri wrapped a hand around the back of the younger man's neck, pulling down to kiss him deeply. He snaked his other hand down and grabbed a handful of Yurio’s flawless ass. Groaning, the blonde braced himself above Yuuri, hesitantly running his other hand down to drag over the older man's clothed cock. Unable to keep himself still, Yuuri jerked up, pushing himself harder into the teen’s hand. It must have been the right thing to do because suddenly, Yurio was ripping himself back, fumbling with Yuuri's fly.

Gently sneaking his hands over the smaller man’s, he deftly popped it and put his hands back in that lustrous hair. He saw more than heard Yurio gulp as he pulled the pants and underwear off in one go. Closing his eyes and almost chewing his bottom lip raw, the older man tried to stifle the moan from feeling his length slap against his stomach. His eyes flew back open as he felt a soft finger tugging at the reddened lip.

“You asked me not to hide. Now I'm asking you the same.” Yurio looked rather embarrassed to ask, but it only served to further melt Yuuri. 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can do that.” The older man trailed his hands down to return the favor, pausing and catching those greens eyes, asking for permission. He received a small, shaky smile and a nod, which was more than good enough. Though Yuuri was nervous as well, he had a much easier time slipping the pants down over that glorious, ivory ass. After a little finesse and finagling, Yurio kicked his jeans and underwear onto the floor and settled back into the V of the other man's legs. They both groaned at the contact, hands exploring the stretch of each other's skin. 

Yuuri felt like this had to have been the best thing he'd felt in his life. Remembering his earlier declarations, he wrapped his legs around the teen, twisting until he was once more on top. He worked kisses and bites in turn from the younger man’s lips, down his neck, settling in between his legs. Yuuri couldn't help giving a sharp nip to Yurio’s stomach, just above the juncture of cock and thigh. The older man peered up at the blonde through his lashes, watching as his hips jerked with every pass of teeth and tongue, as he tilted his head back with a broken moan, the closer the older man got to where he was most wanted. Yuuri wanted to hear Yurio  _ beg.  _ Trailing the backs of his nails up the backs of the younger man's thighs, Yuuri pushed them apart and promptly started in on marking those inner thighs just as he'd promised. A startled shout from Yurio drew his attention. His eyes were met with heat and desperation that almost bowled him over. Raising his brows at the boy, Yuuri set his teeth on the newly made mark and bit down, smiling at the resulting moan.

Groaning in warring desire and frustration, Yurio jerked his hips a bit into Yuuri’s face, trying to communicate what he needed. The older man just smiled innocently, moving on to the other thigh to create a twin mark, but not before huskily ordering, “use your words, Yuri.”

Choking on a low groan, the blonde whispered a broken, “ _ please.” _

Yuuri couldn't help but dig his nails in a bit deeper, and pulled back. “I didn't quite hear that, love.”

A jolt seemed to have run through Yurio. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped a bit, breath whooshing from him, gripping the sheets beneath him tighter. “I…fuck it. I-I want your mouth on me, Y-Yuuri...пожалуйста.”

_ Fuck _ , Yuuri thought. Just when he thought the boy beneath him couldn't do anything more to turn him on more than he had already, he begged him in Russian  _ and _ used Yuuri’s given name?  _ This boy is going to kill me. _ The older man enthusiastically complied, wrapping his mouth around the head of Yurio’s leaking cock, earning a garbled shout of more Russian. Groaning low, Yuuri set to slide the teenager's cock further into his mouth, cataloguing every new flavor he'd never tasted before. He figured he'd like this based on the amount of times he's used this exact mental scenario to get himself off in the past, but it was... _ sugoi na _ … He honestly wasn't prepared for how much he  _ loved _ it. 

He slipped his lips over his teeth and sucked hard as he lowered his mouth further onto his Yurio. Suddenly, there were hands in his hair and a cock shoved deep in his throat. Immediately, the hands left his hair as he choked, tears springing to his eyes. He quickly pulled off, coughing and trying to catch his breath.

“Прости, прости, Katsudon.” Yuuri looked up to see Yurio covering his panting face with both hands, knees trying to draw up and together. 

“Hey, it's okay, Yuri. It's...is this your first time?”

Yuuri wasn't quite sure he'd ever seen that shade of red, in nature or otherwise, as the fair man below him scowled down at him before looking off to the side, nodding. 

Biting back a smile at how ridiculously  _ cute _ his Yurio was, Yuuri shrugged. “Well that makes two of us, I guess.” Wide eyes met his fond ones, giving that vaguely uncomfortable searching look. Yurio must have found what he was looking for because he slowly relaxed again, giving another hesitant, shy smile. Yuuri smiled back, feeling his heart flip flop at the warmth in that gaze. Clearing his throat again, he asked, “can I, uhm… Can I taste you again?” 

Yurio bit his lip, spreading his legs eagerly. “ _ Please.” _

Yuuri set to work, sucking the blonde’s cock back in his mouth, keeping one hand pressed to the his stomach and the other gently squeezing the base. God, Yuuri  _ really  _ loved this. The soft skin of his Yurio’s length pushing against his soft palate. The whimpers and moaning and occasional loud cry after a particularly hard suck. Looking up to see those jade eyes squeezing shut and flying back open in turn as if he didn't know if he wanted to watch or couldn't bear to. The taste of precome sliding to the back of his mouth, forcing him to swallow or to make an even bigger mess of them than he already was. The power he had by pleasuring the boy he hadn't been able to keep his mind off of since the night of his epic failure at the previous GPF. 

Eventually, Yuuri’s jaw started to feel the twinge of exertion. He might have fantastic stamina, but it wasn't like his jaw had much practice for this kind of activity. Thankfully (or maybe unfortunately - Yuuri wasn't sure), the younger man's moans started climbing in pitch, growing sharper more desperate.

“Yuu- Yuuri, блять… I'm gonna come!” He shoved a hand into the older man's hair, gripping tight but not pulling him in, not pushing either, giving Yuuri the choice. 

Hearing Yurio cry out so desperately was all the motivation he needed to take as much of the teen’s length as he could, swallowing as if he couldn't get enough ( _ he couldn't).  _ Two harsh, high-pitched cries later, Yurio was coming. Back arched slightly, he ground his heels into the bed and his cock into Yuuri’s mouth as much as was allowed. 

Yuuri didn't think he'd ever been so fucking turned on in his 23 years of life. He had to swallow a few times to take as much as he could and he still couldn't quite manage it all. He choked a bit, pulling back, allowing the last dribble of come to paint his lips. Yurio looked absolutely demolished, breath heaving as his spent cock lay against his thigh. Yuuri waited until the blonde was looking at him to lick the remains of his spend off his mouth. 

Weakly mewling something in Russian, he pulled the older man up to lay beside him. He slid his hand over Yuuri’s length, sluggishly dragging his lips over the other's. Looking up at him beneath pale lashes, he asked, “is this alright? I really want to taste you too, but I don't think I can do much more than this right now. Maybe...maybe later.” 

Yuuri had felt that he was already on a hair trigger, but knowing his Yurio wanted him like that too - and that just maybe this wasn't going to end up being a one-time thing liked he'd expected - was enough to send him over the edge, painting their stomachs with his come. He realized afterward that he’d been whimpering into the younger man’s mouth between gasps of Yurio's name.

The both of them thoroughly spent, they gravitated toward one another, settling deeper into the bed. Yuuri felt like he was flying higher than he thought possible. He hoped Yurio felt the same. 

“Ugh, we should probably get cleaned up,” Yurio grumbled, sitting up. Yuuri disagreed, but reluctantly followed suit, picking up the first shirt he felt from the floor to wipe them up before tossing it to the bathroom where he'd clean it better later. Looking back, the blonde looked royally unimpressed. “That was my shirt, asshole.” 

_Whoops._ _Well, there’s the Yurio I know and love._ Yuuri looked sheepish before suggesting that he could give his shirt to Yurio. To borrow! Not, you know...not because he wanted to maybe see Yurio in his clothes or anything. _Wait, “love?!”_ He felt his eyes widen as the rest of his expression blanked, palms beginning to sweat. _Shit. Act normal._

The blonde was already giving him that searching look again, a faint moue set on his lips. The air between them felt tense. Yuuri pulled a pair of sweatpants on and offered another to Yurio, who refused. Yuuri tried to swallow past the growing lump in his throat.

“So-”

“What-”

They both stopped and looked at each other. Yuuri felt the tug of melancholy that came with just _knowing_ that this was, indeed, going to be a one-time thing, quite the opposite of what he wanted. There's no chance of another outcome. _Just look at him_. _He looks as if he's trying to find something nice - or maybe just not mean - to say to let me down gently._ _Fuck, I'm an idiot._ Yuuri’s eyes dropped to the floor. He took a few deep, steadying breaths before meeting Yurio’s eyes.

“So this, ah… This was fun!” Nervous laughter bubbled up as he felt the tears trying to crawl to his eyes. “I'm, uh, I'm sorry about your shirt. I can- I can clean it or have it cleaned or something and give it back.” He wrung his hands together, looking everywhere but Yurio’s face. “I understand if this makes things weird. I hope not, but you know… I don't expect you to return any feelings or anyth-”

“Feelings?” A small voice broke through the path of Yuuri’s foot to his mouth. “You said nothing of feelings.”

His eyes snapped up to meet Yurio’s eyes, a strange mix of anger, despair and hope dancing in them. Yuuri was confused. Hadn't they gone over this? 

“Yurio, I-I told you earlier-”

“You told me you wanted me.” Yurio’s voice hardened. “That you wanted me more than Viktor, not that you have...have feelings for me!”

“Yes, I want you because I lo-”  _ Shit.  _ Yurio’s eyes narrowed back at him _. _ “I have feelings for you! Am I really that hard to read? I don't know how to read you right now… Are you angry?” 

“Yes! No! I-I don't know. I don't like talking about...feelings. They're a distraction. I can't get distracted.” His eyes flashed angrily, stalking closer to Yuuri. “Was that what this was, piggy? Were you trying to get in my head?” 

Stumbling back as if he'd been struck, Yuuri cried, “No! How could you even ask me that?” He knew Yurio only called him ‘piggy’ when he wanted to be particularly cruel, but even knowing that he didn't really mean it didn't make it hurt any less. He felt the ever-familiar itch of unshed tears as he looked back at the young man who had just shared his first sexual experience, the first person to grab more than his passive admiration. He looked away again, to the floor, unable to shake the sting of the accusation. Wearily, he said, “I can't...I can't do this. If you really think that of me, maybe I was wrong about you.” With that, he deflated, pulling back into himself, making himself as small as possible. Maybe he should just wait for Yurio to grab his things (excepting the shirt) and leave.

Yuuri missed Yurio’s face blank in shock, blood draining from his face. It was as if someone had popped the balloon of anger welling up in the younger man's chest, shriveling with one well placed, pointed statement. 

“Katsudon…”

“Just go. We have our short programs tomorrow, and all I want to do is sleep.” After the roller coaster the night had become, exhaustion was rearing its head. He turned into the en suite bathroom, leaving Yurio to his own devices, feeling the need to escape for a bit.

He closed the door behind him and sank to the floor, burying his face in his hands.  _ How did something so amazing turn into something so painful? _ Running through the last hour or so in his mind over and over and over, he eventually heard the door open and shut, signalling Yurio’s exit. 

That's all it took to kick start the tears. It felt as though he couldn't stop now that he'd started.  _ Why did I do this with him? I knew it wouldn't mean the same to him. I knew it would end badly. God, I'm so stupid.  _ Gasping and trying to catch his breath through the tears, he crossed his arms, digging his fingers into his sides until it hurt just a bit to act as a tether. He mentally checked his five senses as he felt the panic and overwhelming despair wash over him. He would have called someone for help, but for one, his phone was out in the room and he wasn't quite ready to face the bed yet, and for two, even if he had his phone, he didn't want to explain to anyone why he was in such a state. He had to start over a few times because his traitorous brain would include the lingering phantom press of Yurio’s lips or the texture of his angel fine hair as a ‘touch’ element or he'd smell the a waft of Yurio’s citrusy soap coming off his own skin or he'd ‘hear’ those cries as Yurio came in his mouth as his ‘sound’ element, which would snowball his despair back to square one. 

Eventually, Yuuri dragged himself up and looked at his reflection, and what a sight he made. Little bite marks here and there and fading nail marks that he hadn't even realized were apparently made. Red, puffy eyes and lips from crying so hard. A flake of white on the side of his cheek that he'd missed while cleaning up. His hair was in complete disarray. He looked exactly like he'd expected after the night's events - like he'd had the best, and arguably worst, night of his life. 

Sighing, he decided he'd need a shower. He stepped out to grab his towel and stopped short.

On the bed sat Yurio dressed in his formerly offered shirt and sweatpants, elbows on his knees, hands gripping his own hair, looking about as distraught as Yuuri had not even five minutes ago. It seemed he was so deep in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the older man approaching. 

Unsure what else to do, he cleared his throat. “Yurio? What are you still doing here,” he asked uncertainly.

At the sound if his name, the blonde immediately stood up. Yuuri had barely gotten his second question out before aggressive lips collided with his own, knocking him back a couple steps. He made a sound of surprised protest and his eyebrows flew upward, but Yurio just redoubled his efforts. He broke off long enough to whisper “ _please”_ against Yuuri’s lips before pouring himself into another kiss. Yuuri melted against the younger man, feeling tears spring to his eyes again. The desperation in Yurio’s every movement and touch was enough to make the older man whine. 

Eventually, the kiss devolved into hesitant hands running over each other. Yuuri broke the kiss and the blonde followed, seemingly wanting more. Biting his lip against a smile that wanted to make an appearance, Yuuri took a half step back which was enough to snap Yurio out of it.

“I didn't mean what I said,” came out of the teen’s mouth in such a rush that Yuuri, even with his fluency in English, could hardly understand. “I didn't...I didn't mean it. I'm just sca-” Yurio broke off and glared into the middle distance yet again. Yuuri kept silent this time around, letting the boy sort his own thoughts out. He watched as the fierce scowl eventually melted into something akin to regret or shame. Yurio tried again, working his way through it stiltedly. “I was, ah,  _ am  _ scared. This whole time, I thought you had,” he paused to scowl in discomfort, “ _ feelings _ for Viktor, and here...they're apparently aimed at me, and I don't understand it.” His face morphed to pure confusion. “You should  _ hate  _ me, Katsudon. The first time we met, I yelled at you for being weak. I'm not… I'm not a kind person and I'm still, and it pains me to say this, young. What could you possibly want from me than to…” A sigh. “To get in my head so that you could beat me for-for Viktor...?” He trailed off, uncharacteristically small in that moment. 

Yuuri sometimes forgets that Yurio is only 15 ( _ “almost 16!”  _ he can hear the boy in question indignantly spit in his head). Even when he remembers, he forgets that beneath the powerful armor of anger, venom and confidence, there's a world of a person he doesn't quite know. There are soft spaces between the plates that Yurio doesn't let anyone see. For all the strength Yurio holds at a constant, there's a large, hidden part of him that’s still just a teenage boy, insecure, second-guessing himself and unsure about others’ motives. 

Since it seemed he wouldn't be getting that shower tonight, he tiredly rubbed at his face, considering his response. He gently tugged at Yurio’s hand, leading him to lay with Yuuri on the bed.

Heaving a great sigh, he looked into Yurio’s wary eyes, a weary smile edging his lips. He placed his hand on the blonde’s cheek to underline the need to pay attention to what Yuuri’s saying. 

“I have never, nor will I ever, hate you. In all honesty, you've been invading my thoughts since the night you first called me a moron.” Yurio looks baffled as the older man continues. “I don't want anything  _ from  _ you. I just want...you. I love your fire and your refusal to conform and your will for hard work and, yeah, I know you're not exactly a  _ kind _ person, but you're intelligent and intense and you lit a fire in me like you wouldn't believe. You're the reason I skate my Eros so well. Hell, you're the reason I'm skating this season to begin with. Viktor is a pretty good coach, but you push me to be greater just by you being you. The only thing I could possibly want  _ from  _ you is to never go easy on me. As much as I love you, you're still my competition.” He ends with a teasing smirk that fades to confusion as he watches a series of emotion pass over Yurio’s face, changing too quickly to catch them all. “What is it?”

“You-you love me?”

Yuuri’s eyes fly wide as he mentally replays what he said.  _ S h i t.  _ Pursing his lips, he decides,  _ fuck it, I've come this far.  _ “Y-yes. Yes, I do.” He wonders how much of his nerves are shining through as he raises his chin, trying his best to feel confident. 

Something like wonder graces his Yurio’s face for a moment before settling into a smug expression. “I'm so going to kick your ass tomorrow.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, I left this kind of vague. I'm not sure if I'll write a sequel or not. I'm on the fence about it, so I guess I'll wait to see what kind of response I get to tip me one way or the other.
> 
> For those curious, I definitely Googled these, so I could be wrong, but here's the little bits of Russian/Japanese:
> 
> пожалуйста - please  
> sugoi na - wow  
> прости - sorry  
> блять - fuck (THANK YOU, LECKEN)
> 
> Come join me on [tumblr](https://kafrickinboom.tumblr.com/) to gush over our rarepair OTPs! (I ship pretty much all of them)


End file.
